The Day Dad Went Plumbing With A Silent Bee!
© Copyright Richard O'Brien 27 April 2004
ILLUSTRATIONS (C) 2009 STEPHEN LANG
PDF: The Day Dad Went Plumbing with a Silent Bee 2010 DOWNLOAD AND PRINT 5 PAGE DOUBLE SIDED BOOKLET :)
It all began one night at the dinner table. Mum, Dad, Susan
and Clementine were sitting around the table finishing off a
lamb curry made from the roast they had when Grandma last
visited.
The girls were as lively as ever, Susan busy with her
homework and Clementine with her
drawings. Mum and Dad both looked a bit tired after a hard
day’s work; Mum had what was left of her half a glass of red
wine and Dad had his usual pale ale as they helped
themselves to the bowl of fresh fruit for dessert.
Susan had some lists of words she was studying for a spelling
bee the next day.
“Farm - Farmer”
“Teach - Teacher” Susan read aloud.
Mum reached over to the bowl and took a plum.
“Plum”, she said pointing and smiling. “Plumber” she
gestured to Dad.
Susan and Clementine looked at each other a bit confused,
they both knew Dad was famous for his underfloors and pipes,
but plums ?
“I’m only joking!” said Mum. “Dad goes plumbing with a
silent b”.
Clementine looked more confused, “Dad goes “pluming”
with a silent bee”, she wondered ...
“Anyway, you girls may leave the table.” “And clean your
teeth and climb into bed!
"School tomorrow!”
Clementine tossed and turned in her sleep; “Dad goes
“pluming” with a silent bee”. ...
*******************
Buzzzzzzzzzzz!
Dad’s alarm went off well before the sun was up, it was dark
and cold as Dad put on his work overalls. You could see the
frost on his breath and his face was numb.
“And don’t forget to comb your hair!” mumbled Mum as
she rolled over.
Dad grabbed his lunch, hopped in the kombi ute and drove
down the freeway off to work.
He drove through the tunnels, past the city, then, as the sun
was climbing slowly over the hills, at an intersection in
Woodville, Dad wound down the window to let in his
workmate, Bertie the Silent Bee.
“Morning Bertie!” Dad greeted the bee.
But Bertie said nothing, he just nodded and sat down with
what appeared to be his lunch, on the seat next to Dad.
Bertie proceeded to part his hair neatly, then put his
honeycomb back in his top pocket.
“Chilly isn’t it Bertie!” said Dad. And Bertie just nodded again.
“Another working day”, sighed Dad, “Working from womb to
tomb” he said as he continued to drive to Port Adelaide.
Dad and Bertie arrived at the work-site with their gear and
began digging the underfloor. Digging and digging and
digging. The sun rose gradually and Dad and
Bertie continued digging.
“Phew, every limb in my body is aching” said Dad.
And Bertie just nodded.
They laid the pipes ready for the concretors and were feeling
very satisfied with their work when along came a man in a suit
and thanked them:
“Great! That’s great” said the man. “I owe you a debt of
gratitude.”
“No,” said Dad firmly, “you owe me eight hundred dollars!”
“Hmm ...y-yes...of course...of course, that too”, said the
man, less enthusiastically.
No sooner had Dad and Bertie finished that job than they were
going on to the next.
They were tired, but there was work to be done and the sun
was climbing higher and higher in the sky.
But when they got to the next work-site, well, you should
have seen it! Mess everywhere!
“This place looks like a bomb hit it!” he said indignantly. And
in a funny sort of way, he sounded just like Mum.
The pair worked harder and harder and the sun climbed
higher and higher. They were both tired and hungry and
hadn’t yet had a break for lunch.
Finally, Bertie the Silent Bee flew up to Dad’s ear and Dad
heard Bertie’s empty stomach give a tremendous
GROANNNNN!
“Oh, hungry are we?” asked Dad. “I suppose that was a
subtle hint! Subtlety was never your strong point Bertie.”
said Dad.
The workmates made their way to the ute to get their lunches
and were joking and carrying on as they made their way back
to find somewhere to sit down for lunch.
“What have you got for lunch? asked Dad. “A ham sandwich?”
It was actually. At least part thereof. A crumb for lunch had
our Bertie. Dad continued joking as he fiddled with his lunch.
He wasn’t paying attention as he went to sit down - and sat -
it was entirely accidental - right on top of his poor friend Bertie
the Silent Bee!
YEOWWW! yelled Dad.
Bertie the Silent Bee had stung him - right on his -(…)um, I
can’t say where!
YEOWWW! YEOWWW! YEOWWW! yelled Dad.
Bertie too was looking poorly, a little squashed and without his
sting. Then, out of nowhere came the police! The younger
policeman ran past Dad and grabbed Bertie the Silent Bee by
the wings!
“Got Him! Here’s the culprit!” he yelled.
“Well, Well, who have we here then?” interrogated the older,
fatter policeman.
“What? Playing dumb! That’s always a sign of guilt! declared
the policeman.
“No, no, no!” cried Dad. “His name’s Bertie - but it’s not his
fault.....”
“Well-well-well, ‘Ertie, you’re under arrest!” You will be tried
for ... in a court of law, where it shall be proven, beyond
reasonable doubt, you ....”
Dad was dumbstruck.
“Inspector?” reminded the younger policeman...
“No, no, no!” cried Dad. “It’s not his fault.....”
“Bertie the Bee, you have the right to remain silent,
everything you say can and will be used against you...”
“No, no, no!” cried Dad.
“No, no, Nooooo!” cried Clementine.
“Clementine. Wake up Clementine, you’re having a
nightmare....” Mum and Dad were at Clementine’s bedside.
Susan, amazingly enough, was still asleep.
“B-B-B- Bertie..” sobbed Clementine.
“It was just a dream, sweetheart” consoled Mum.
“Just a dream” reassured Dad.
So Clementine drew a big breath in and collected her
thoughts. She didn’t need to worry about Bertie the Silent
Bee’s wrongful arrest...It was just a dream. Dad was already
getting ready for work, plumbing with a silent b, and in a
short while, after a bit more sleep, she’d getting ready for
school.... Later, after a bit more sleep.
And in the morning, maybe she’d tell Susan about the dream
she just had, The Day Dad Went Plumbing with a Silent
Bee.
ALL SILENT BEE ILLUSTRATIONS (C) 2009 STEPHEN LANG: slang589@gmail.com
A note to the story: This contains all the base words in English that are spelt with a silent b... it's a work which may help Childhood learners and people for whom English is a Second language ; Hope you enjoyed it
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/English_pronunciation Scroll down for some interesting links ...
“ You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney present during questioning. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you. Do you understand these rights?
© Richard O’Brien
